


Surviving Changes

by kinksock22



Series: Changes [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha to omega Jared, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Bottom Jared, Hurt/Comfort, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Jared, Pregnant Sex, RPS - Freeform, Rimming, Self-Lubrication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:33:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5949309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/kinksock22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to a fill for this prompt at the kink meme: <i>I've read a few fics where Jared and Jensen are both alphas who mate and have to fight to decide who'll stay alpha and who will become omega. There's anyways an element of dubcon with the change as neither want to give up their alpha status.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>I would really a fic where Jared and Jensen are long time friends who are kind of in love but have never done anything about it because they're both alphas so it wouldn't work. Jared starts researching and decides that he wants to change into an omega so that he can be with Jensen. So it's Jared's choice to change rather than a fight. Maybe dealing with Jared's struggle to come to this decision and the aftermath, how his life is different now that he's chosen to be omega. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Bottom!Jared only please. Mpreg welcome but not necessary.</i></p><p> </p><p>Jensen is so happy when he finds out that Jared is pregnant, Jared is happy too, but this is still a bit strange and new experience for former alpha. Jared not only has to get used to being an omega but also has to come to terms with being pregnant as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surviving Changes

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of this is meant to be disjointed and jumbled, maybe even a little confusing. It’s meant to show how messy Jared’s thoughts are. Hope this comes through.

Jared honestly thought that he’d have time to get used to being an omega, to being a mate, before he had to deal with being pregnant. It’s not that he’s unhappy about it – being mated to Jensen, having a family with Jensen, that’s all he’s ever wanted – but he just thought that he’d have some time. He sure as hell didn’t think that the first heat triggered by the change would end up with them conceiving their first child. He didn’t think he’d have to deal with being omega, mate and father, all at one time. But he can’t actually go back and unring that bell. It happened and Jared just has to deal with it. Even though none of his extensive research told him how.   
  
That’s the worst part of it. The research told him what would happen physically. It told him all the risks and the side effects and the dangers. Even told him about the changes his body would undergo if – by some slim chance – the change was successful. He knew going in everything to expect from his body, for both outcomes, but he wasn’t at all prepared for what to expect from his mind.   
  
Jared’s body may have changed but his mind… doesn’t. He still feels like an alpha, still thinks like one, even now, weeks later. He’s settled into mateship with Jensen, smiling and pretending that everything is perfectly fine, letting Jensen hold him and kiss him and fuck him, while inside he’s still screaming, his brain twisting, the alpha still alive in his mind clawing and growling like a caged animal.   
  
It’s like his body is completely separate from his mind. His body is all omega, curling up against Jensen’s side, basking in the attention from his mate. And the desire is there, flooding Jared’s whole body as Jensen pushes into his slick entrance, fucking slow and deep, lips pressed against Jared’s neck, his shoulder. Jared still isn’t comfortable with Jensen seeing his body, although the only outward change is the lack of his knot. It’s yet another disconnect between mind and body; Jared  _feels_  different so then he must  _look_  different.   
  
Jared can’t sense the baby. Jensen can. Jared doesn’t really know what that means, what that says about his future ability to actually be a father.   
  
They still haven’t told anyone. They’ve locked themselves away in their own little world as much as possible – Jensen spends the time turning Jared’s old room into a nursery, Jared sits on the couch and stares into space. Friends and family call to check on them, of course. Thankfully Jensen takes the calls and makes excuses that Jared doesn’t even listen to.   
  
His thoughts are so disjointed. He can’t think straight, can barely concentrate. He’s got all this in his head, begging to come out. Jared doesn’t know how to let it out without falling apart completely.   
  
Jensen is amazing, as always. He’s loving and attentive and Jared is eternally relieved that in taking this huge risk, he didn’t lose his best friend in gaining his mate. Jensen is the same as always.  _Jared_  is different. The demands of his body – the desire to curl up against Jensen and never let go – and the changes in his body – even after Jensen turned him, he’s still changing, bit by bit, day by day, the new life growing inside his newly-formed womb forcing him through the process – clash horribly with the thoughts swirling in his mind. 

  
He doesn’t tell Jensen any of this. He can tell his mate is already worried – watching him, always watching, those intense green eyes seeing more than Jared wants him to see – and he doesn’t want to add to that. He’d stupidly thought that after the first twenty four hours, the change would be complete and he would just wake up, a brand new Jared, that he’d feel as if he’d been omega all his life. He thought that he was prepared, was so proud of all the research and thinking and planning that he’d done. He was stupid. A fool in love that didn’t let himself think that the whole thing would go less than perfect.   
  
A month into his pregnancy, he starts getting sick. Like really, can’t-get-out-of-bed sick. Their parents won’t stop calling. Jensen hovers. Jared wants to scream. He can’t stand Jensen’s scent and his touch makes Jared’s skin crawl. He doesn’t know what Jensen keeps telling people, why they haven’t been around. They should both be at work. They’ve been locked away for a month. Jared’s still-alpha mind disconnects further from his newly-omega body. He doesn’t get out of bed. Doesn’t even try anymore.   
  
The sickness lasts until slightly past his third month. Fourteen weeks along, to be exact. Jared finally has the ability to move without the threat of puking. Jensen’s scent doesn’t make him sick anymore. All he craves is his mate’s touch. He’s lost weight. The slight roundness of his belly is painfully obvious. As are the darkened circles under his eyes and the gauntness of his cheeks. He’s dizzy and his concentration is even worse than before. His thoughts are a scattered, disjointed mess.   
  
Jensen takes him to the hospital.   
  
Jared cries and screams, begging Jensen not to, but his mate is stubborn and scared. He picks Jared up like he weighs nothing. With as much weight as he’s lost, it isn’t even a hardship for Jensen. They admit him and hook him up to IV’s and run so many tests that Jared couldn’t even hope to keep up even if his brain wasn’t cracking under the pressure.   
  
Jensen is finally forced to tell their families. It goes about as well as Jared expected it would. He’s not surprised when he wakes up after falling into an exhausted sleep to find Jensen the only one there. It still hurts.   
  
They keep him in the hospital for a week. After the first day of fighting and pleading with Jensen, Jared gives up and lets them do whatever they want to him. He doesn’t really care. They take pictures of the baby and run tests on it as well. It’s okay, thankfully. Jared’s mind may not know what the fuck to do but apparently his body does, is able to care for his child even when Jared can’t take care of himself.   
  
Jensen takes him home and sets him up in their bedroom. He brings food several times a day and although Jared still isn’t really hungry, he eats. Jensen’s eyes are haunted and tired. Jared hates himself for doing that to him.   
  
Four months. Sixteen weeks. Jared’s putting on weight again. Slowly. The swell of his belly is even more obvious. Jared still can’t sense the child. Jared is despondent, unresponsive. Jensen evidently has finally had enough.   
  
XXX  
  
Jared looks up when Jensen comes into their bedroom. His hands are empty. The only times that he’s come into the room in the last week was to bring Jared food.   
  
Jensen sits down on the bed, shoulders slumped, eyes on the floor. It makes Jared ache. “You told me that you’d be okay,” Jensen says softly. He looks up and Jared is surprised by the sheen of tears he can see making Jensen’s eyes glisten. “You promised me, Jay. You said, after the first twenty four hours, that it’d all be okay. That  _you_  would be okay. You’re not okay.” He stops, eyes searching Jared’s. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits softly, helplessly. Jared’s hand is cold when Jensen wraps his fingers around it. It makes Jared shiver. “Tell me what to do,” Jensen half-commands, half-begs. “I can’t… I can’t stand to see you like this. I feel like… like I lost you anyway, even though the change was successful.”

  
Jared swallows the lump in his throat and weakly squeezes Jensen’s fingers. “I’m sorry, Jen,” he says softly. He can’t actually remember the last time he spoke.  
  
“I know you are, baby,” Jensen replies quietly. “But that doesn’t. That doesn’t really solve the problem. I need you to talk to me, to tell me what the hell’s going on.” Jensen swallows thickly, his gaze dropping to their joined hands. “Have you… have you changed your mind? About us?”  
  
“No,” Jared shakes his head, tugging on Jensen’s hand until Jensen looks back up at him. “I… Things are all screwed up in my head. But that’s the one thing I’m still sure of.”  
  
To Jared’s surprise, Jensen crawls up onto the mattress, settling down beside him. Jared goes easily when Jensen wraps his arm around his shoulders, letting his mate pull him against his side. “Then talk to me,” Jensen urges. “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
  
The thought of telling Jensen, of trying to actually put into words all the scattered, disjointed, even painful thoughts is overwhelming. But Jared can’t resist Jensen, can’t resist that low, urging, heartbroken tone. “I… This hasn’t been as easy as I thought it’d be.”  
  
“What’d’ya mean?” Jensen asks softly. Jared closes his eyes when he feels Jensen press a kiss to the top of his head.  
  
“In all my research, there was nothing about how things would be  _after_. I went into this knowing what would happen to my body, both if the change worked and if it didn’t. I… I stupidly expected just to wake up and automatically  _be_  an omega…”  
  
“You are,” Jensen murmurs. Jared can hear the frown that he knows is pulling down Jensen’s lips, the confusion in his tone.  
  
“Physically, yes,” Jared sighs. He turns his head slightly, listens to the steady sound of Jensen’s heart beating beneath his ear. “Mentally, not so much.” He sighs again and sits up, turning just enough to look at Jensen. “My body, as you’ve seen, is all omega. That went off without a hitch. The problem is, my brain, my mind, is still alpha. I still think like an alpha, still feel like one. I feel like two different people. Like my body and my mind have disconnected. And I don’t know how to fix it. I wasn’t… There was nothing in the research about how to handle that part of the change.”  
  
“Jay,” Jensen breathes, shaking his head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”  
  
“Because I didn’t want to worry you even more,” Jared shrugs. Jensen rolls his eyes. “I know,” Jared sighs. “Believe me, I know. Bang up job there, huh?”  
  
Jensen pulls him back into him arms, settling Jared against his chest. Jared lets his mate’s touch calm him, soothe the rambling thoughts tearing through his brain. “I’m just… I feel so lost, Jen,” Jared whispers. “This, here with you, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Being your mate, having a family. It’s been my dream as long as I can remember. And I really thought I was ready for it, ya know?” he sighs, continuing before Jensen can even respond. “But it all just seems to be happening so fast. I can’t keep up with it. My body is doing everything it should but my head just feels like it’s gonna explode. I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate. There’s all this swirling around inside my head, pushing to get out. And I don’t know what the hell to do.”  
  
Jensen squeezes his arms tighter around Jared, presses a kiss to his temple. “You talk to me about it,” he answers simply. “You let it out before it builds up so much that you feel crazy with it.”  
  
“Jensen,” Jared frowns.  
  
“No,” Jensen cuts him off. “You’re my best friend, Jared. My mate. I’ve known you your entire life. This? Sharing the burden, helping you figure this out? It’s what I’m here for.” He presses another kiss against the side of Jared’s face. “I love you, Jay. I have since the day you were born. I don’t wanna lose you just because you think that you need to handle this shit on your own. You don’t.”  
  
“I just… I don’t even really know how you can help,” Jared replies quietly.

  
“I don’t either,” Jensen shrugs. “But what you’re doin’? It obviously isn’t workin’, sweetheart.”  
  
“I thought that it’d straighten itself out in time,” Jared admits sheepishly. “I mean, my body handled the change, right? Why didn’t my brain?”  
  
Jensen cards one hand through his hair, the other rubbing up and down his back. Jared barely resists arching into the touch. “Honestly?” Jensen asks.  
  
“’course.”  
  
“I think that you’re overthinkin’ it,” Jensen states simply. Jared scowls, trying to pull away. Jensen tightens his arms. “No, listen. You’ve been alpha all your life, even before you popped your knot. It was a part of you for so long. You still think like an alpha because that’s all you’ve ever known.”  
  
“I know that, Jensen,” Jared huffs. “That doesn’t exactly help the problem though.”  
  
“I know, baby,” Jensen murmurs, nuzzling through his hair. “I know you, Jay. And I know that you’re tryin’ to force it, that you’re thinkin’ something went wrong. You just have to listen to your body, your new instinct. The rest will slide into place.”  
  
He sounds so sure, makes it sound so simple. Jared wants to believe him so much. He just doesn’t know if he  _can_. He’s been struggling with this for months. Could it really be that he’s dooming himself by thinking too hard about it?  
  
“’m scared, Jen,” he finally admits, burying his face against Jensen’s neck. The scent of mate and love and home is so strong it kind of makes his head spin.   
  
“’bout what?” Jensen asks softly, cradling the back of his head.  
  
“Messin’ things up. I… I thought that I’d have time to get used to bein’ omega, bein’ your mate before I had to worry about anything else…”  
  
“The baby,” Jensen states.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared sighs. “And it’s not that I’m not happy about it, I am. I just… I went through such a big change and now I’m going through another one, before I even got used to the first.”  
  
Jensen pulls him closer, kisses the top of his head. “We’ll figure it out,” he says softly, firmly. “We’re in this together, Jay. Just don’t forget that.”  
  
XXX  
  
Jared has to admit that telling Jensen helps. Maybe not right away, but as the days go by – and he forces himself to stop thinking so hard, to stop worrying so much – the mess inside his head does seem to settle a bit. It’s not a miracle cure, he still has the alpha mindset but the thoughts swirling around his brain aren’t quite as loud.   
  
He sits down and talks more with Jensen. He talks about his fears and concerns, his worries that he won’t be a good father, that he leapt before he looked. Jensen is loving and patient, letting him get it all out. He doesn’t tell Jared he’s wrong or crazy for feeling the way that he does – he even admits that he’s worried himself about being a father – but he promises, again, that no matter what, they’re in it together.   
  
Jared continues to put back on the weight he lost and then some. He looks healthy, happy even, when he dares to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. The swell of his stomach is still a shock but he’s getting used to it. Along with the way his body is once again changing to accommodate his growing unborn child.   
  
He can see the pride and happiness shining in Jensen’s eyes whenever they talk about the baby and he knows that Jensen is so excited about it. Jared doesn’t want to risk taking that away. He knows that it’s his own mind, his own hang-ups, that is preventing him from taking the final steps in the change from alpha to omega. He vows to change that.  
  
His new plan of not overthinking everything also includes not worrying about the outward changes to his body. He decides to embrace his new omega body and be proud of it.

  
He stands in their bathroom, naked, looking at himself in the full-length mirror that hangs on the bathroom door. Aside from the swell of his five month pregnant belly, he looks the same as he always has. He closes his eyes and focuses inward. While the change to make his body omega was completed during that first twenty four hours, the changes required for the baby are still happening, will keep happening, until he gives birth. He isn’t caught in the middle, stuck between alpha and omega. He reopens his eyes and stares at himself, the instinct that Jensen was talking about finally kicking in. He  _is_  omega.   
  
A slight ripple in his belly makes him flinch and he looks down, pressing his hand against the spot. He feels a tiny foot or hand or _something_  press back. It’s the first time he’s felt movement. And for the first time, he can actually sense the child growing inside him.   
  
He gasps, pressing his other hand to his stomach, all the noise and confusion left in his brain just… stops. He feels peaceful, settled, for the first time in… probably his entire life.   
  
As an alpha, Jared was easy-going, laid back in a way most alphas just aren’t. He was always calm and sure of himself. With sudden clarity, he sees that that’s where the problem was. While he knew what to expect, he didn’t prepare himself for how to really handle it before he was jumping in, head first. He was sure of everything else around him – Jensen, their mating, even the baby – but he let himself become unsure of himself. Fundamentally, he’s still the same old Jared. Biology and the new abilities of his body doesn’t change who he is, deep down.   
  
Smiling, Jared turns off the light and heads down the hallway to their bedroom. Jensen is sitting up against the headboard, reading a book. He looks up when Jared enters the room, eyes widening as his gaze trips down Jared’s still naked body. Before Jared can move further into the room than a few steps, Jensen is off the bed and in front of him, hands moving from his face to his belly to his arms. Jared chuckles softly and grabs Jensen’s wrists, holding him still for the moment.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Jared says softly.  
  
“For what?” Jensen frowns.  
  
“For everything,” Jared answers simply. “I… I haven’t really been myself lately. But I think… I think I’m okay now.” He takes a step closer, leaving them chest to chest – or well, as much as possible with the swell of Jared’s stomach in the way – and leans down, brushing a kiss to Jensen’s lips. “And I have you to thank for that.”  
  
“What’d I do?”   
  
“You were there,” Jared shrugs. “I lost it, for a little while. But you never gave up on us. Or on me. Even when I didn’t really know who I was.”  
  
“I’ve always known who you are,” Jensen murmurs.  
  
“I thought that changing, becoming an omega, had to change  _me._ But it doesn’t. It didn’t. I’m still me.”  
  
“What happened?” Jensen asks softly, head tilting to the side. “I thought you were just gonna go shower. Instead you had an epiphany in the bathroom?”  
  
Jared chuckles again and shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah, guess I did.” He sighs and turns toward the bed, pulling Jensen with him. They sit down on the edge of the mattress, fingers laced together. “I haven’t really looked at myself much since the change,” Jared admits quietly. “Until tonight. And I realized that even though I feel different, I don’t look different. Other than this,” he chuckles, smoothing his hands over his belly. “But something just… calmed inside me and I felt at peace. Then I felt the baby move. It all kinda clicked into place after that.”  
  
“’m glad you feel better,” Jensen murmurs, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “And ‘m glad I could help, however I did.”

  
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s still odd as hell. I think it’s gonna just take time to get used to it completely. But I will. And I know that the alpha in my head may not ever go away completely but it will get better. Hell, it already has.” He sighs softly and leans against Jensen’s side. “I just… Thanks. For not givin’ up and for talkin’ some sense into me. I needed it.”  
  
“Like I said, ‘s what I’m here for, Jay.”  
  
Jared leans forward and presses a kiss to Jensen’s lips. “I love you,” he says softly, firm and sure.  
  
“I love you, too,” Jensen replies with a smile.  
  
“Let’s go to bed?” Jared whispers hopefully. It’s not even fully dark outside. They haven’t touched since Jared got sick at the one month point. He can already feel himself reacting to being this close to his mate. It’s still slightly surreal, feeling himself getting wet, catching the scent of spun-sugar and  _knowing_  that it’s coming from him.  
  
Jensen reaches up and tangles his fingers in the hair on the back of Jared’s head, holding him still for a moment, green eyes searching his silently. Then Jensen leans forward, using the hold on Jared’s hair to pull him forward as well. They meet in the middle, lips sliding together, slow and sweet. Jared hums into the kiss, his hand sliding up Jensen’s bare chest to his neck, holding on as he leans in closer. Jensen growls softly when Jared nips at his bottom lip, tightening his fingers in Jared’s hair as he deepens the kiss.   
  
A powerful burst of arousal and need and love surges through Jared and he scoots closer, as close as he can, his arms sliding around Jensen, clinging to his mate as the kiss turns deep and passionate. Jensen’s warm, spicy scent surrounds him and Jared moans, hips rocking forward of their own accord.   
  
He pulls away from the kiss with a gasp, forehead resting against Jensen’s as he tries to catch his breath. “Need you, Jensen,” he breathes, voice nothing but a low rasp. “Please.”  
  
“’m right here, baby,” Jensen whispers back, the hand not in Jared’s hair sliding around his body, pressing against the small of his back.   
  
Even pushed up against Jensen’s body as he is, Jared just feels like he can’t get close enough. He’s trembling, hole wet and clenching around nothing, aching to be filled. Barely biting back a whine, Jared throws one leg over Jensen’s thighs, settling himself in his mate’s lap. Jensen looks up at him, hands on his hips holding him steady. Jensen’s eyes are dark, blown wide with lust, and his scent is thick and sharp, making Jared’s mouth water.  
  
“Okay,” Jensen breathes, gently rubbing his hips, up his sides. “We need to scoot back, sweetheart. Can’t exactly do anything right here.” Jensen has a point. They’re still on the foot of the bed. But moving away from Jensen proves to be nearly impossible. Jensen reaches up, cupping Jared’s face in his hand, guiding him down so their lips brush together again, and again, slow and steady. “C’mon, Jay. I’ll take care’a you, you know I will. Just need to move for a second, ‘kay?”  
  
Jared huffs but climbs off Jensen’s lap, crawling up the mattress on his hands and knees. He stops once he gets to the top of the bed, looking at Jensen over his shoulder. His mate’s gaze is fixed on his ass and Jared fights back the initial, automatic embarrassment that creeps up, forcing himself to stay still, to let Jensen actually see him. It’s not as hard as he thought it’d be. The pure, fiery lust in Jensen’s eyes certainly helps.  
  
Jensen finally moves, crawling after him. He stops behind Jared, between his legs, and looks up, their gazes locking. Jensen pushes his boxer briefs down and off, throwing them blindly over his shoulder. His hands are warm and steady when he grabs Jared’s hips. Jared’s whole body is still trembling. Jensen leans down and presses a kiss to the small of Jared’s back, one hand sliding under Jared to cup the swell of his stomach. Jared closes his eyes and turns his head back around.

  
Jensen moves closer, the bed shifting with the movement, and presses a kiss to the back of Jared’s neck. “You’re beautiful,” Jensen whispers against his ear. “Always have been to me. That hasn’t changed at all, Jay.”   
  
Jared closes his eyes, feels himself relaxing, letting go of the slight bit of tension that had coiled in his muscles. “Jensen, please,” he whispers.  
  
Jensen nuzzles against the side of his face, pressing a kiss to his temple, his cheek, the side of his lips. Jared wishes he could turn over onto his back so he could look up into Jensen’s eyes. But his belly won’t allow for that position at the moment.   
  
Jensen presses a kiss to his shoulder then slides back, lips and tongue moving down his spine, stopping at the small of his back. Strong fingers grab the cheeks of his ass, pulling him open slightly. He gasps when he feels Jensen’s tongue against his hole, swirling around his rim. Jensen groans and pushes closer, licking over and around, pushing just barely inside.   
  
“Taste so good, baby,” Jensen murmurs, nipping at the cheek of his ass. Jared jerks slightly but moans at the pleasured pain of the slight sting.   
  
Without much conscious thought, Jared tilts his hips down and back, his legs sliding open just the slightest bit more. Jensen’s tongue darts out again, licking a wet stripe from the back of his balls all the way to the base of his spine. Jared moans again, fresh slick pulsing from his hole. Jensen chases after it, licking and sucking, hands pulling Jared open even wider. He doesn’t know how long Jensen is back there, driving him slowly crazy with want, but eventually he just can’t take the aching, empty feeling anymore.  
  
“Jensen, please,” he gasps, pushing himself up onto his hands. He looks over his shoulder, groaning as dark, stormy-green eyes snap up to his face. “Please, need more…” he whispers hoarsely.  
  
Jensen pulls away, pressing one last kiss to the small of his back. “Turn over, onto your side,” Jensen half-asks, half-commands.  
  
Strong, familiar hands help him move then Jensen is scooting up against his back, his hard, thick cock riding the cleft of Jared’s ass. Jensen’s arms slide around him – one over his waist, the other under his neck – and Jared melts back against his mate’s chest, eyes sliding closed as Jensen mouths wetly at the scar on the crook of his neck from the bite that turned him and made him Jensen’s.   
  
He turns his head when he feels the blunt pressure of Jensen’s cock against his hole, blindly searching out Jensen’s mouth. He can taste himself – sweet and thick – on Jensen’s lips and tongue. Jensen pushes forward slowly, his arms tightening around Jared’s still trembling body. He stops once he’s buried to the hilt, pulling back from the kiss with a groan. Jared leans his head back against Jensen’s shoulder and takes a deep, slow breath. It doesn’t hurt, not in the slightest, just a bit of a burn and a fullness that Jared suddenly realizes that he really, really likes.   
  
Jensen kisses his shoulder, hand sliding down over his stomach. “You ready?” he whispers.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared breathes.  
  
Jensen falls into a rhythm right away. Slow, long strokes, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in. Jared can feel himself fluttering around Jensen’s girth, can feel every inch. The times that they did this right after Jared was turned were good but Jared realizes now by holding back, by confusing everything and making it all so much harder, that he was robbing himself of the true experience of being with his mate.   
  
He closes his eyes and loses himself in the feeling, the pure pleasure of Jensen all around him, inside him. Jensen’s hips shift just barely and on the next thrust hits his prostate perfectly. Jared chokes on a broken moan, grabbing Jensen’s arms, fingers digging into flesh and muscle tight enough to bruise.   
  
“There,” he whispers. “God, right there. So good, Jensen.”

  
Jensen keeps that same perfect angle but keeps up with the long, slow thrusts. It’s maddening good; Jared simultaneously wants him to speed up and to never stop. Jensen’s hand reaches up, cupping his cheek, carefully turning his head toward him. They kiss slow and passionate, the pace and rhythm matching that of Jensen’s hips completely.   
  
He’s sure that they spend hours just like that. His cock is achingly hard, leaking against his stomach and he knows he could come easily, right now, just like this, but it’s not what he wants. He kisses Jensen’s chin, nuzzling under his jaw. “Touch me?” he begs, soft and breathy.   
  
Jensen’s whole body jerks just slightly – his cock pulsing inside Jared – and he barely muffles a groan. Jared can’t help but smile. He hasn’t let Jensen touch his cock since the change, self-conscious about the lack of his knot. Which he knows now was just plain stupid. All he can blame is his struggle to let go of his alpha mindset.  
  
The hand Jensen has on his belly slides down, strong, thick fingers curling around his cock. Jared’s hips twitch and he mewls, turning his head more, burying his face in Jensen’s neck. Jensen picks up the pace finally, pushing in deep, barely pulling out before thrusting in again. Jared can feel Jensen’s knot starting to swell, can feel it tugging on his rim every time Jensen pulls back. He doesn’t have words for how badly he wants it, buried deep inside him, tying them together.  
  
“Jen,” he breathes. “Please. More… Need more, babe. Give it to me.”  
  
Jensen slides his arm around Jared’s chest, holding him close and tight, hips pushing in deep, grinding against his ass. The hand on his cock speeds up, wrist twisting under the head, sliding all the way down to the smooth base. “Baby, ‘m gonna…” Jensen rasps. “So close.”  
  
“Shit, Jen. Me too,” Jared breathes.  
  
“Do it, sweetheart,” Jensen whispers against the top of his head. “Wanna feel it.”  
  
Jared cries out when he comes, Jensen’s hand working him through it, not letting go until it’s too much. He hears Jensen groan and push in just the slightest bit deeper, hips jerking and churning as his knot swells the rest of the way, locking them together. The liquid warmth of Jensen’s release drags a moan out of Jared, his spent cock twitching weakly.   
  
Jared’s body relaxes slowly, his breathing and heart rate taking several long minutes to even out. He pulls his head back and looks up at Jensen, not even a bit surprised to find Jensen already looking down at him. “You okay?” Jensen asks softly, dropping a kiss on the tip of his nose, the corner of his lips.  
  
“I’m good,” Jared answers honestly, snuggling back further into his mate’s embrace.   
  
He’s not sure what the next twenty weeks will bring. Even less sure what’ll happen after their child is born. But the thought doesn’t fill him with worry anymore. The peace that came over him is still there. And he knows, no matter what, that Jensen will be right there with him the whole time. 

 


End file.
